Today is the Birthday of daughter #3. She will be 17 at 7:06pm this evening. She gets a cake and I deserve a medal. 17 years of challenging me on a daily basis. It gives new meaning to ‘Child Bearing Years’. Ya know, if I had comitted a crime, say a nice felony like armed robbery, I would have done ‘less time’. I would have served my sentence and paid my debt to society. I would be a free agent with a buff bod compliments of the daily use of the prison gym/spa. I would have another college degree or two to hang on the wall in the penal systems effort to rehabilitate me. I would have had 3 squares a day and cable TV. I would have been living large. Larger than I am right now – on the outside. That’s sorta sad in and of itself. My quality of life would have been better in prison than out.
I wouldn’t have had the freedom to come and go, true, but as a mother of 4 kids who were all small for a long time and all at the same time (4 kids in 7 years) how much freedom did I actually have anyway? Ha! My kids might actually appreciate me today if I had spent 17 years in jail. They would have seen me once a week or there abouts and they probably would have thought I was a cool Mom because I would have been tough and buff and tattooed from head to toe. I’m sure I would have had more genuine conversations with them because the only way they could have talked to me was by PHONE – through bullet proof glass. It’s easy to tell your Mom anything under those circumstances. It’s a lot easier to backtalk her, too!
I don’t know how my daughter got to be 17. I feel like I haven’t aged a bit. I feel younger now than I did 17 years ago. Is it possible I’m entering my second childhood as she approaches the cusp of adulthood? Or is it the whisper of freedom that makes me feel like a spring chicken? Freedom from raising kids on a day by day (really a minute by minute) basis? They’re all almost grown and I feel like I’ll soon be able to exhale. Of course it’s been so long since I had any time to pay attention to myself I don’t think I’ll know how to do it anymore. I hope it’s like riding a bike but I have my doubts. It’s a scary prospect. Getting a life for myself and having time on my hands to do things for MY enjoyment. Doing things because I want to – not have to. Just typing it made me shudder a ‘lil. Growing older but not up – there’s a concept I can get on board with.
Daughter #3 was nice all day – and night. I’m rightfully suspicious. (Do you think it had something to do with ‘presents’?) Or can it be turning 17 has ushered in the end of an era – the terrible twos??!?!! – which, by my calculation lasted 14 YEARS!!!! A long time in coming, to be sure.
I’m cautiously optimistic.
Hope springs eternal!
Tags: Aging, Birthday, Childbearing, Insanity, Love, sarcasm
